Jobs for the boy

I think we've all jumped to conclusions about are Wayne.

First SAF gave his 'I'm not angry I'm just deeply, deeply disappointed' spiel.

Then, Wayne released this statement earlier today, saying he'd had enough.

How he can say the most successful English club of the past twenty years lacks ambition is astounding and smacks of an unconvincing excuse. He's taking the only root that could save him from the ire of the fans: blame it on the Glazers. Or the people who look after him are anyway.

Tapping into fans' antipathy towards United's owners in one thing, selling them a story about why you're leaving is another. As one banner at (an empty looking) OT read tonight: "Coleen forgave you Wayne. We won't."

That said, no one seems to have considered the possibility Rooney has had enough altogether. Maybe he's ready to walk away from the game entirely and play FIFA for a living.

Perhaps the next contract he'll sign will be on a house he intends to renovate and sell on for a profit?

If I was Wayne's career adviser - and i'm as qualified as anyone - these are the options I'd tell him to consider:

X Factor. My 'source at OT' tells me Wayne is quite the vocalist and is a big fan of the talent show. Cheryl Cole has previous with one of England's other model footballers so may well take a shine to our man from Merseyside. Simon Cowell knows a cash-cow when he sees one and would be sure to sign him up.

The Soul is One predicts an album including the future chart-topping hits Money for Nothing, Gold Digger and Laid.

The Apprentice. Once his pop career goes to the dogs Wayne would almost certainly appeal to the Lord. With ex-Brum chairlady Karen Brady having replaced the lovely Anne he would have an ally in the boardroom. To get Wayne on side Karen would just have to provide him with detailed plans on where she sees their future going together.

Rooney would surely excel in the competition, with recent events demonstrating his business nous. He's got the basics down to a T - you take the option that gets you the most money.

Marriage counsellor. There must be thousands of men out there contemplating where to spend the night after coming home to find the locks changed, shredded clothes in bin bags and facing the prospect of having to their own ironing after being caught with their trousers down,- who would pay good money to know how Wayne manages to get away with it.

He could start with the England players - that would keep him going for the first couple of months - before moving on to Joe Public.

*****

So good luck to you Wayne son, you leave with my blessing and I wish you every luck in your future career.

Just don't go to City.

The Soul is One.